from Ginny Muir | Coach. Healer. Guide on the Path. Weekly Museletter

Happy Thursday, friends and lovers.

It's been a juicy week, and I've got lots to say. Diving right in to what I'm musing on at the moment...

1 | I'm rooting for the men

Over the past several years, something started happening without my conscious intention. Men started showing up to work with me. In my most intimately held spaces, I had the privilege of sitting close-in with them as they embarked on vulnerable journeys of healing -- and I'm not talking about spiritually woke medicine men. I'm talking trial lawyers, construction managers, pilots and investment bankers. 100-mile race runners. A head of psychiatry at a major western medical center. A savage fintech sales guy. Arriving shaky-nervous (but pretending not to be), and not just because their wives sent them. (In fact, I often had to win trust with their feminine partners, who were anxious themselves that transformation might mean mid-life-crisis abandonment of family and structure.)

Not only has it been an honor, it has informed the way I see the reparative work needed on this planet. Mainly: it must be done together. I have sat in, learned from and held healing spaces for women for over 15 years. These have been and continue to be essential. And, when I created the Alchemical Relationship Collective, I was very clear I wanted it to be a space for all genders. I was crossing my fingers for diverse participation, longing to create an opportunity for us to remember our shared humanity and the unifying force of the heart, no matter age, gender identification, relational status or any of the other metrics we use to separate ourselves.

I got my wish. And the participation of the men in the space has been exquisite and game-changing,

When I coach couples, the structure includes both joint and individual sessions. This week happened to contain a lot of 1:1 sessions with the masculine half, so the depth is fresh in my awareness. Two of the main things I get to offer men are trust and respect, and it's notable how few genuinely expect this when coming into a session held by a woman. I listen differently; they tend to require more time and unfilled space to open up. I do not mother, and I do not sugarcoat. I meet them where they are and I call it like I see it, giving them tough assignments and expecting them to be capable.

One of my clients ended our session by saying, "sometimes I feel like I'm in over my head with my woman, but I really feel you ROOTING for me, like you're confident I can catch up." And actually, I fucking am. Judgment gets us nowhere. Neither does pity, and certainly not contempt. When we expect to be disappointed, we often are.

Last sip of tea: I also got two separate messages from former partners in my DM's this very week (you see now why this is the headlining topic of this museletter). One husband, one lover. Both were asking -- after many, many years-- for my insights on their relational wounds and shortcomings.

Nothing could have been more validating -- not for my ego, but for the long-game devotion I put into weaving relationships free from contempt. Both said they might not have been ready to hear what I had to say all those years ago, but they never forgot it. And there was an openness that made them trust they could ask for my reflections now, no tail-between-legs vibes required.

I began rooting for the men before I knew without a doubt it was a sound strategy. And that has made all the difference.

2 | In our deepest core wound, lies our dharma.

I'm in a moment of creative renaissance and, in my desire to channel this energy in the right direction, I revisited my Gene Keys this week. (This is a wildly complex system and not one I understand on my own; my beloved sister Alyssa Troob translates it for me).

She brought to my attention something I had missed until now-- the Gene Key that holds one's core wound (imprinted from the very beginning of this incarnation and a constant traveler throughout) is also the key of one's vocation. Thus, transforming this wound releases repressed energy and alchemizes it into life purpose.

My core wound is Dishonesty. And the healing of it is to move towards Intimacy and, eventually, to full Transparency.

This tracks. The dishonesty referenced by Gene Keys is specific to human relationships, and my early life was riddled with distrust, hidden agendas and the inability to tell the truth about who I was or what I was feeling. (The cause of this, of course, is shame.) Double life, eating disorder, vast gap between how I presented and how I truly felt, cheating, lying, etc, etc. And I have made it my life's work to move through this in-born terror into raw, unapologetic authenticity with others. And (gold star) to teach others to do the same.

An intention of writing this weekly missive is to nudge myself to the next level -- transparency of self, not only in close relationships, but with all beings. Just sharing about whatever's present, without editing too dang much, or being bothered by the number on the list or the comings and goings of subscribes and unsubscribes. Trusting and sharing as an act of love.

If you're here, I'm grateful. And if you ever feel to leave, I trust you entirely.

And while you're here, if there's something you'd love to hear me muse on, a place you wish I was more transparent, a secret curiosity you have about me, I would truly love to hear it.

Reply to this email and ask me a question -- absolutely any question. Nothing off limits, I'll respond to each and every one in future editions.

3 | Death Bloom is some of my most FAVORTE, juicy work. And it's coming in a month.

What does it look like to transform one's core wound, you might ask? Well... often it looks like D Y I N G.

Not all the way (though in the end, that will certainly do it!), but little mini-deaths along the path. Moments that ask you to give up a preciously-held identity, or a way of being, or something you perceive as safety that's actually limitation.

For me (because of the dishonesty thing), that used to look like getting BUSTED. Caught red-handed, intervention-ed, outed as a big fat lying liar. That was fun zero-out-of-one-hundred times. And yet... it never killed me all the way. And what I started to notice was... it actually LIBERATED me.

I began to fear it less, then trust it, then... I began to out myself. I learned to tell the truth and walk willingly into the fires of destruction. So much more efficient, let me tell you.

Part of what I know about death cycles is our core wound will try valiantly to talk us out of them. It will present sophisticated and convincing strategies that appear to be saving us, when really they're only preserving what's holding us back.

A client (whose core wound happens to be Impatience, lol, shout out to you, dear C!) messaged me this week, and I quote:

"Okay, I'm in a death cycle, all of the signs and the feelings are like 'you're in it, sit here' and that just kind of SUCKS. I'm so sick of waiting for the thing I want, and I don't want to give up any control or direction. I have been in this rut for a while and I'm so tired of it. But I'm scared to take any risks that might jeopardize the thing I want happening, so I'm just sitting here... not changing anything, impatiently waiting."

You see, the direct strategy of her core wound? In her case, Patience is the medicine. Timelessness is the medicine. Notice that you're just waiting-- impatiently I might add-- and move into active participation instead.

ANYWAY, the death process is my jam and we'll go into this and much more in my Death Bloom Ritual Workshop on December 7.

It's gonna be real good.

Thanks for reading.

Big love to all of you out there,